Photos: Julien Nadiras, Mikey Schaefer and Alan Collins
Last year, I made a wonderful trip to Smith Rock. A voyage that brought back the taste for sport climbing and pushed me back into the athlete lifestyle. To Bolt or Not to Be carries an historic aura. It was love at first sight for me. A line of 40 meters in a perfectly smooth and vertical wall. The route has over one hundred moves, all on tiny crimps.

To climb in it, you need both cold temperatures and really hard skin on the tip of your fingers.

There is not one really hard move but foot positioning is very delicate and varied. If you are slightly off, you are out!

I was able to climb in the route for two days last October, without getting anywhere close to putting it all together. But the route put me in a trance! I loved it’s beauty, complexity, and it’s atypical old-school style.

All winter, the line was floating around my mind and I spend quite some time trying to figure out the best way to showcase this demanding project.

So I went back to the U.S. at the end of February, bringing along my good friend and old time working partner Julian Nadiras. Julien has had a hand in all of my video projects. He was with me in the Argentinian desert back when I was a young 22 year old trying to beat the Tuzgle boulders. He documented my success in Silbergeier, and was also there behind me when I faced Orbayu.

This time, he tagged along for this North American trip and we have shared climbing and everyday life in Smith Rocks. He witnesses how climbing shapes my life, he sees how I operate, always in the present: either all out when motivation hits me, or quite unable to move when I am not feeling it. I lead a particular life and it is sometimes hard to understand. You have to be there to get it…and Julien manages to capture it all in pictures.

The day I sent To Bolt or Not to Be, it was exactly freezing temperature. I only had spent one day in the route since our arrival there, but that is all that was needed. My friend Ian Yurdin made for a perfect companion. I had no expectations on that day because it had been snowing when we entered the park. But as soon as the sun came out a little, my hunger for climbing surged. The first try without warm up was a promising one and on the second, I was dancing on it like I have done only a handful of times on a climbing route.

Climbing is a sport like no other. It is much more than a form of exercise. It is an art, a way of moving and a way of live. I am delighted to have the opportunity to express it in a movie to come.

After that successful climb, I felt very motivated to climb a bunch of other routes I had spotted since my arrival. But I was tired. My fingers were sore from all the crimping and deep inside I felt empty and lost somehow. I hadn’t experienced this kind of « big hole » for a while. It had happened after some of my bigger climbs, like Silbergeier for example.

In the end, To bolt has only been a simple sportclimb, but I was able to express myself in the way I wanted and Julien captured that in images, so that I could share what I felt and did with everyone : The perfect run after a long period of physical and mental preparation. The run when it all comes together and you are simply in the present, focused on nothing else than the next hold. The perfect danse in symbiosis with the rock.

To be honest, I’m not quite sure whether my sportclimbing will ever go much further than that. I have the impression that my climb in To Bolt expressed something I was eager to do and that I can now turn the page and focus on other types of climbing. But who knows, I change mind very often!!

Another very beautiful and demanding line I climbed in Smith Rocks is the famous « Viscious fish », a very tricky 13.d.

I also had the opportunity to climb in the sector « Upper Gorge ». A must see if you ever visit Smith Rocks!!! The rock texture is so distinctive and the climbing unique. Lots of stemming and compressing on very smooth and black rock. Perfect if you’re out of skin and ready for a challenge away from crimps.

My feelings about the U.S. are a little mixed up so far. I’m here for 5 weeks and I’m struggling with the cultural differences. It’s very fun to experience when you share it with a friend from Europe, like I did with Julien. But when I’m alone, I often get homesick and miss those little “European” things.

Language-wise, I am slowly starting to speak and understand English for real. Everyday, I’m learning new ways to express myself and ways of talking, second degree meanings etc.

I guess, I just have to admit that this trip is forcing me to have an open mind and I can feel that it will be an important one in hindsight. I feel very fortunate, even if though homesick sometimes.

And now off to more adventures in Indian Creek with my friend and Petzl Team member Said Belhaj. YEAH !

Little Nina in big America, a funny thing to imagine, if you know me in person. I had always been a little critical of the mindset of Americans, even disturbed by some of the huge differences in culture and tradition. My travel last year to Smith Rocks changed that a lot. I realized how bign this country is how diverse people are. My mind started to open more and more and the differences became something I wanted to experience more of.

So I headed out for this 3-months climbing trip mid february, making the best of opportunities ahead. I flew into Reno and from there to South Lake Tahoe. It has been a real winter there, like the onces I had the chanche to live during my childhood in Switzerland. Huge amounts of snow everywhere, big storms rolling in one after the other. These winter are always outstanding to live and to witness .

The storms brought lots of light and deep powder, time for skiing. Although I haven’t been skiing much this last years, it’s a sport that kids in my Swiss valley do from 3 on, and so the connection I have to this incredible feeling of sliding is big. Like all of us out there, I ate lots of powder on the way down with this overwhelming wave of gratefulness. Skiing is so much fun.

From the breathtaking powder descents in Lake Tahoe, my path went down south to Bishop. I’m not the biggest boulderer of the word, but it was important for me to see this outstanding climbing area.

With my friends Sean Haverstock from the U.S. and French legend Julien Nadiras we went for the full outdoor experience in the Sierra. The previous few months of my life before the trip, I wasn’t able to be outside much and I realized how much that impacts my simple feeling of freedom and wellbeeing.

We lived out of a van, feet the cold night of the desert and the violent sunshine during day.

The Buttermilks represented exactely what I’m looking for in climbing. Obvious lines on high boulder balls in the middle of the snow covered eastern Sierras. The climbing is demanding and the holds are very small and sharp.

My goal was to climb as efficiently as possible. I only put in a few tries on a problem. That feeling of giving everything in a flash try felt crazy good !!! I climbed in the flow, directed by my intuition.

It was a great feeling to bewell spotted by Julien and Sean, they are both strong and experienced boulderers. They know the buisness of bouldering.

Bishop is a funny little town, very charming with a good hospital. Injury number one in Bishop are twisted or broken ankles. On our second climbing day I was part of a big accident on a high ball. Sierra Knots, fell down from a 7 meter high bouder problem. Her foot slept and so she felt a little twisted. My first reaction was to catch her. Not a good idea. I hit her right foot and so she landed only on her left leg. The force of the fall was such that she broke her ankle and leg multiple times. It’s been since a while that I havent heard someone yell so loud. She was full of pain. We carried her down to the car on a crashpad and drove straight to the hospital. I felt really bad and responsible for her injury.

That event was a strong experience. I realized yet again how big the commitement is in climbing, even on bouder problem. I know that feeling of commitment from alpine climbing when the moment comes where you’re not allowed to fall anymore. It’s somehow the same. You go because you feel like. There is no room for doubts, negative feelings and you can’t count on your partners anymore. You go for the free soloing with this big feeling of selfcontrol due to your climbing skills and strong mindset.

I spent seven days up in Bittermilks. Some days, I felt a big attraction to high boulder problems and I climbed them. And on some days I was unable to imagine to climb high so I played on problems where it’s allowed to fall.

I finished my trip with plenty of pure problems in my pocket, up to V9 in grade flashing them sometimes but always only in a few tries, a good strategy to save.

The outdoor experince up there made me feel alive ! We were dirty, lived in the cold and somehow it felt rough. But I like that. I don’t wanna be too much of a princess and I need to be outdoors to feel the balance in my body. Well, stil thanks a lot to our friends for the hot shower from time to time … 😉

I visited Sierra in the hospital two days after her accident She did not blame me, she simply owned her commitment to the dangerous game of climbing high balls. Since then, I have learned to be a better spotter and to let it go when you have to. All my best wishes to her for a quick recovery !

And now my trail goes north. Leaving for Smith Rocks now to deal with some tabs I still have there from last year ! Stay tuned.

December 31, 2016. I was really happy for the year to end since I’d had the feeling of being way off the mark on every single one of the last 365 days.

January 4, 2017. I just learned that someone had broken into my flat in Grenoble. I broke down. But just then, I realized that I was getting more familiar with that other Nina, the one that breaks down sometimes.

2016 had not been in fact a year off the mark for me. Quite the opposite! It had been an outstanding journey within the confines of my own self. All the hard times that came gave me an opportunity to meet that family that lives within me.

“Without having to admit being schizophrenic, we can recognize and admit that a whole family lives inside of us, a choir of voice which shares, unbeknown to us, our mental space and body; we learn to manage it, to come back to our “me” without destroying or hurting any member of this inside family. Let’s identify the voices, let’s not identify to them: we are not our mind, our emotions, our sensations, we are further and ahead: we include these voices and we are aware of them.”

Many know Nina Caprez. A climber with a strong personality, who knows what she wants and throws herself full on to get it. It’s a relatable character with an inspiring and positive aura.

In February 2016, the weak Nina showed up in plain sight like never before in my life. I reached out to my friends and family because I was not going to make it out alone. I had lost confidence in my physical abilities. My ailing body took me to place I could have never imagined before. Yet such a frail state also made me connect to a more spiritual world. I felt such close to a higher force surrounding us and to those who have long departed, among them is my father.

As the year unfolded, the wise Nina became a more regular visitor. She had been building herself slowly over the course of the last two or three years. It’s a kinder and softer Nina, for herself and for others. She is much more reflective and has grown a good sense of « je la sens ou je ne la sens pas », some sort of safety device.

In the summer, the call of the mountain came loud and clear. I did not go to check a ticklist but to get exposed in unknown terrain. The power of the mountain helped me reconnect with the world around me and had a great soothing effect on me. Many nights spent under the stars, savoring the present moment and chatting away with my climbing partner…“refaire le monde”. Every minute spent in the mountains was thrill and jubilation all the way to the bottom of my soul. I felt alive!

Towards the end of the year, I was again with the Nina Caprez we know better. It was a great relief and the proof that my body had recovered from the parasite I had caught in February in Turkey. I started hitting harder routes again, thanks also to the many hours spent climbing while weaker. There IS a right time to get your ass kicked!

Let’s go back to the break in for a minute. The weak Nina showed up in these circumstances, but with a bit of pragmatism, I manage to not let the break become an invasion of my intimate world. I let that Nina take the stage. I called my mom, got my crying done, and asked for help from the people around me. After a couple days, the weak Nina had packed her bags and left me in a richer place. I was even happy that perhaps the stolen gear would be like a gift to someone in need.

So I guess I will change the title of this post and make it mine:

“What does not kill you makes you richer”

2016 gave me opportunities to discover many sides of myself, to leave breathing room to all the characters of my interior family, and to be proud of each one of them. Nina Caprez lives with a weak and vulnerable Nina. Another one is wise and well put. Like everyone I guess. Or just maybe with an extra pinch of craziness?;-)

Photos: Sam Bié, Jason Bagby, Sam Challéat, Benoit Merlin, Véronique Hoegger

Yesterday I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. It was one of those days where you rather stay at home then go to the crag. I was feeling upset. I was unable to focus and be gentle with myself. Conditions were so bad, warm and humid as always. For the first time since I arrived in Smith Rocks I climbed like shit. l slipped a lot and got my ass kicked on every single route I tried.

One of the reasons why I choose to spend such a big part of my life outside rock climbing is because there is no bad day at the cliff. Yesterday I didn’t climb as good as I wanted, but all my friends did which was great! They gave it their all, climbed well and focused and some sent their projects.

Since my first day here I feel very good. I’m calm and precise in my climbing and I trust my feet. I feel comfortable with the people surrounding me and I simply appreciate the smart climbing community of Smith Rock and Bend. I haven’t felt this way in a while, especially in sport climbing.

I love Smith Rocks because it reminds me of multipitch climbing. Every single line is so demanding and simply beautiful. To me, it doesn’t matter if I’m climbing a 5.12, 13 or 14, I have to be 100% focused. You need to trust in yourself, your partner and you have to give your best in every single route.

The first ten days I felt like a kid playing in a new playground. I climbed all the eye catching lines, lots of cracks and outstanding aretes like Spank the Monkey on the Monkey Face. Then the time came to try To Bolt or Not to Be.

The first time I climbed the line, it took me two hours to clip the anchor. I wasn’t able to do all the moves, it felt way too hard. Local people told me that To Bolt is one of the most condition dependent routes anywhere. Despite the bad conditions, I tried it two more times. Result, I was unable to hold on to the razor sharp holds. Especially at bolt nine there is a place where I was simply unable to do two moves. I felt to weak to climb the route, but I was blown away by the complexity of the movements, the 200 footholds to remember and of it’s simple beauty. I felt super lucky by the fact that I had the chance to climb on this historical route at least once in my life.

Later on the trip I had some interesting discussions about the different ways of approaching a route. The system teaches us that a good climber should climb hard routes in as few tries possible. Personally I grew up in the mountains, so the more time I spent outside in the mountains climbing in a route, the happier I was. Making our way up to the summit was the main goal, by climbing, aiding, holing or whatever. And if we were to weak, we had to rappel down, logic.

So for me when I go climbing, I start at the bottom and I try to make my way up to the top. Stick clipping up a route or Top roping is not an option. I love the process, the suffering, dealing with my fear and the unknown. I love to discover a route on my own and I also like to give up sometimes and try another day. I don’t want to blame people who top rope because they’re really afraid to fall. I also do not blame people for clipping the first bolt because they don’t want to break their ankle. But I can’t understand why people stick clip or top rope to save time and energy. Why do we want to take so many shortcuts and reduce the experience to a simple climb? Just to make another cross on our tick list and move on to another line to make a quick ascent? I doubt these ascents are the ones that will stay in our memories for forever. Where is the sense of adventure and excitement that makes us feel alive?

Then there was this one day… this day where it was super windy and dry, like it has never been since we arrived. I gave myself one more chance on To Bolt, just to see if conditions had for real a big impact on this route. To be honest, I simply crushed that thing. I danced my way up to famous bolt nine and there I tried to make something but I failed because I simply had no plan for this section. Second try I crushed again and fell off at the same place I did the try before. I did a mini-mini error which cost me my send. Back on the ground I almost cried, not because of the holes in fingertips, but because I was so happy. My friend Charlotte, which was there from the beginning, was stoked. We both had a big smile on our faces and I felt her big compassion. Send or not, this route is definitely worth trying.

Well, at the end all I wanted to say is that topping out a route is a difficult thing when it’s at your very limit. In my opinion, sending is only a little piece of the full experience of climbing. To me, the more this process is combined with adventure, the more I feel a permanent excitement. And living for adventure is always my priority and something we will remember your whole life, even for a 40m piece of rock.

Photos: Jason Bagby

I am not quite sure what bit me when I did this route, but it must have been something magical.

Sometimes your guts make you try things. That is the case for Divine.

I spent some time in the mountains in July, a pretty ridge, a nice summit like the Chardonnet, I went for some climbing at the Trident and the Grand Capucin, I sent Avé César in the Petit Clocher du Portalet, and in general I build up some decent legs.

Well, I felt ready and and so did my partner Benoit, who I could trust with my life.

With a three day window in the weather but some storms coming behind, we might have started a bit optimistic or even culotés. Yet from start to end, it all rolled out nicely. Luck was on ours side.

On the first day, we grab the last gondola in Torino, crossing under the Grand Capucin in silence, to then reach the Bivouac de la Fourche. We are alone, with a mindblowing view : The Grand Pilier d’Angle before our eyes. This 900 meter face is majestic, intimidating, and really makes you want to climb in it.

The mood between Benoit and I is joyful. Divine Providence has been making rounds around his mind for years. The wait is over.

We melt some snow and eat some LYO food, while adventure feelings camed up.

We are out and sleeping right away and waking up at 4am is the awaited start. We eat and drink some tea. Time to go !

In two little rappels, we find ourselves on the Glacier de la Brenva which leads us to the Col Moore. The full moon lights out steps but the day is quick to follow.

Another five rappels to land on the most dangerous part of the route : crossing under the large seracs. They were large and beautiful ! A quick hello but then we pick up the pace to cut the chance of them breaking on us.

From afar, we have carefully observed the line and we know exactly from which point we want to start the assault of the wall.

Crossing the rimaye at 7 in the morning is always going to be a tad sketchy. You see the gap under your feet, you pray that the snow bridge will hold, and you go ! After a short committed climb with crampons and through small snow field, we are now finally at the bottom of the first pitch.

The 400 meter base of Divine Providence, up to the bivy were a nightmare for the previous parties because of lousy rock quality. Benoit and I have chosen the FFME alternative, a route opened in 1992. Harder of a climb than the orginical, this option offers better rock. At first a bit scared by this first section, I found myself at ease once in it.

We start ascending in 5c to 6b pitches . Large packs on our backs, yes, but the rock is solid, I even quite enjoyed it to be honest. I could picture myself with my bulky bag, following nice crack lines, setting up relays where suitable. We were still very watchful since there is still some decent amount of rock just asking to snap, but for people climbing in the Chartreuse, it was nothing unheard of.

At 4pm we get onto a little ledge. Bivy at last. And it is not just a bivy, it is the dream Bivouac. You are 500 meters above the ground, perched among some of the most beautiful peaks in Europe ! We are elated ! What a joy to be there, living fully and relieved that all had gone well so far.

We slept as well as two pleople in one sleeping bag can and woke up with a magnificent sunrise, very eager to start the real climbing. On the menu, 10 picthes from 6b to 7b on impeccable granit.

I can summarize the next eight hours in one word :dazzling…

I have rarely since such beautiful cracks on concrete-solid rock, so easy to protect. I had a ball. We hauled out bags so that we could both be climbing freely and enjoy every last bit of it.

Benoit who is not quite able to onsight all the pitches still enjoys the climb as fully as me.

3 o’cock and we get to the top of the rock face and switch into another 250 meters of mixed climb awaiting. Et wow ! That certainly shook us up ! We expected a nice ridge line, stretched rope but no way. There is in fact some more really shacky rock scramble with ice. Benoit took the lead there. My partner is a solid mountaineer and he did show me what he is capable of in this section. He even saved my bacon when I start sliding off with a large boulder. Massive adrenaline shot at both ends of the rope. I quickly gathered myself to continue on.

At 7pm, we finally got to the Arrête de Peuterey. It’s a perfect snow ridge with a thousand meters of air on each side. We get off rope and made an easy last stretch thanks to the tracks of climbers who had exited the l’intégrale de Peuterey earlier.

I was drained, yet savouring each step, always finding good support for my pick. My heart was pounding but out of joy and excitment.

At 9pm we congratulated each on top of the Mont Blanc. What a moment to remember.

We had reached the famous summit by it’s hardest route and it did not look all that impossible now.

Benoit and I make a perfect rope team : the free climber with the mountaineer, two approaches to moving and a wide range of experiences to adapt to the many challenges that mountains have to offer.

I am really happy to have dared throwing myself in a classic mountaineering route. I am proud to have kept smiling through and to be the first female to complete the ascent. I feel blessed to have shared it with Benoit. I feel alive, although exhausted.

Une grande voie comme “Titanic” se fait sur un coup de tête. Il ne faut pas trop y réfléchir en avance, on y va parce qu’on a eu une grande envie le soir avant, c’est tout!

Depuis que j’habite sur Grenoble, plein de gens m’ont conseillé d’aller grimper dans cette voie, la plus haute de Chartreuse. Pour mon copain Benoit, elle fait partie d’une de ses grands rêves et en plus c’est une voie de Mussato. Quoi de plus pour être motivé!

Réveil à six heures du matin, on est vendredi le 24 juin, une des journées des plus chaudes de l’année. Surement pas les conditions idéales car la paroi passe à l’ombre vers 15 heures. Mais bon, quand on est motivé on fait abstraction de tout.

La marche d’approche nous a déjà bien séchée mais ce n’étais rien comparé à ce qui nous attendait après. Je suis partie dans la première longuer…mon dieu, comme je me suis fait rouster dans ce 7a+! Une longueur qui déroute complètement et un rocher bien péteux. Bref, j’ai été tendue comme un string dès le début.

Le même jeux dans les 3 longueurs suivantes. Dans la plus facile et plus péteux, un 6c,  j’ai arraché une grosse prise et je me suis retrouvée dans la corde. Avec Benoit, on a subi le soleil rasant mais on a avancé quand même. Pour être honnête, je me suis dit après les six premiers longueurs que j’allais jamais monter la corde à haut. Cotations serrés, grimpe exigeantes et rocher moyen….aie, aie, aie.

Benoit s’est régalé comme un dingue en second, à part les petits traversées…Pour moi qui étais en tête c’était un autre jeux. J’étais vraiment crispé sur ce rocher pas très solide de Chartreuse et je me suis battue dans des 7a’s comme dans un 8a. Mais vous savez quoi, j’ai kiffé! Plus on montais, plus j’ai familiarisé avec ce style et j’ai commencé à me sentir complètement à l’aise. Vers 14 heures on est arrivé au pied du premier 7b et à ce moment là, la paroi passait à l’ombre.

J’ai continué à me battre, j’étais à fond et super concentré à chaque longueur. Toutes sauf une, sont passées à vue. J’ai prit une petite chute dans le 7c car la fissure du départ dans le crux a été bien mouillé. J’étais un peu dégouté, mais ma fois, c’est la nature. Je me sentais tellement dans mon élément et j’ai adoré de partir complètement à vue dans cette aventure de 450 mètres avec des longueurs bien soutenue. Tout ça avec mon chérie qui étais aux anges et qui a aussi donné le meilleur de lui même. Bonheur. Vivre le moment présent. A deux.

On a pas eu le temps de faire les deux derniers 6b’s car la nuit a commencé gentiment à tomber et comme on a bien fait. On s’est retrouvé aux pied de la voie à 22:00. 12 heures de grimpe, à 24:00 on était dans un Kebab à Crolles, à mourir de soif et de faim. Heureux, éclaté et les pieds en feu.

Un immense merci une fois de plus au grand maitre Philippe Mussato pour l’ouverture de cette voie. Quel idée!!!!;-)

Merci Benoit d’avoir vécu une si belle aventure avec moi. Vive d’autres, vive la vie!

Since a couple of months I’m on a stable way of recovering of what happened end of February to me.

It’s crazy to feel how things changed. First and most important of all, I feel in shape again. II can’t say that I feel balanced, but my muscles are doing great, especially my heart. What’s still confusing is to see how much time it takes to the organs to reach their normal function again. But me and my body, we’re working on it!;-)

Second, I feel sooooo connected to climbing. I think that’s since years I haven’t been so psyched for that sport. I like the simplicity and complexity of it, being focused while trying a route, becoming one with the mouvements, feeling the connection with your partner and the people around you.

I climb 8b+ again which is (sorry for this expression) a fucking good feeling! But I’m mostly climbing multipich routes since a while. Since my big healthy problems I’m looking more than ever to the connection with my partner. And in long routes that feeling is stronger then anywhere else to me. While living this sport I’m looking for the strong connection between nature, partner and myself.

The expedition to Greenland I had planed this summer failed, but that’s ok. I was disappointed mostly because this connection between all the team members was obviously there. But instead I did plenty of fantastic multipitch routes in one of my favorite place of the world, the gorges of Verdon.

I did easy onces and also hard onces. I climbed whatever felt and looked good, I was in the flow. I felt how important climbing is to me and what I’m searching by doing it. Grades became so useless to me, the only thing I’m looking for is the challenge, braking throw my own limits, pushing again and…..LAUGHING! Hell, climbing is soooo much fun!